Why I Need Another Career

Jenny
C.V. Sampler

1. Dental assistant. High school. First job. Subbing for Nancy G. two consecutive Saturdays. Mother thrilled with uniform. Did not get called back for second week.
2. Scallop shucker. Nantucket Island. Wish I had not thrown away my knife.
   
3. Cook on 4-man fishing boat, converted shrimper, The Castaway. 150 miles offshore. Seventeen years old. Looking for swordfish, found none. Dragged bottom of ocean for yellowfish. Ate raw lobster salad—well, I didn't, re: mayonnaise. Learned cribbage, among other things. My friend/safety net/other female aboard got pregnant by a Castaway, a man with two sharks tattooed on his chest, and subsequently, a very angry fiancee. Memorable line: "The ocean will never hurt you. It will only kill you."—Captain Tom Collins
4. Dishwasher. Italian restaurant. Was trying to get off island.
5. Summer stock. Consistently cast as Bielka in Fiddler on the Roof over a period of many, many years.
   
6. Short order cook, among other things. Midnight shift.
7. Saute cook at Frank Lloyd Wright-designed restaurant on Wisconsin River. Only remember cooking lots of trout, and that dreamy, flowing-with-the-river structure.
8. Performer. Lowbrow Minnesota tour.
   
9. Taco Bell. First day: left on lunch break, never went back.
10. Tart maker in Paris, savory and sweet. Was not time of my life.
    
11. Telemarketer. Back in the states.
12. Administrative worker. Usually in theaters.
13. Circus apprentice. Assistant truck driver to Carlos. Mmm.
    
14. French fry cook. Soon promoted to prep cook; can still dice a tomato with finesse. Left when forced to handle huge racks of meat. Bob Denver's son worked there, was a model ship builder, and looked exactly like Gilligan.
    
15. Barista, Comedy Club. Used to flirt with Rob Scheider.
    
16. Museum "Explainer."
17. Performer for little or no money, pretty much throughout all this.
18. Children's museum worker. A demotion, but now on east coast.
19. Afterschool teacher for elementary schools. Quit once, returned, could only find work in pre-schools, took it. Threw in towel after seven years.
20. Seamstress. Partnered with friend to create summer mini-jumpsuit line. Later had unrelated falling out; she was in love with my boyfriend.
    
21. Administrative worker again. In theaters.
    
22. Performer, for years. Maybe making a bit more money. Now getting grants, and one fellowship award. (Lived in NJ at the time, though.)
23. Circus person, again. Puppeteer. Smallest part in the show, wound up in Woody Allen's Alice. Also pulled curtain for elephant act, a high-pressure situation. No joke.
    
24. SAG movie extra. Only hired for African-American films. Think Jungle Fever, Boomerang, Run's House...
25. Screenplay adapter and author interviewer for kids magazine.
    
26. Wrote film script. 1/4$ of $$$$.
27. Opera singer even. Highlight: made Baryshnikov laugh, and front page of New York Times arts section. Last major performances, Edinburgh.
    
28. Script reader. Hollywood. Real money.
    
29. Studio Executive. More real money. Had baby, aka D.J. Best friend fired me from her boss/lover's bed. She denies it, insists I quit.
30. Unemployed, kind of. Back in NYC.
31. Theater and Book Scout. Fun, but part of vanity severance/guilt package from best friend.
    
32. Script reader. All over NYC. Not nearly as well paid as Hollywood. Work dwindles after 9/11.
    
33. Writer. Playwright. Sometimes.
34. Columnist. Three years. Still basically unemployed.
35. Proofreader.
36. Advertising and Promotions. Real money, almost. Very right wing, did not end happily, but good experience.
    
37. Copy editing.
    
38. Writer's assistant. Called "glamorous" at interview. Wrote much of the narrative, and some lines/jokes, plus full copy editing for recent Tony-nominated musical. Never saw it. Wasn't invited. Still a bit irked.
    
39. Game show writer. Much funner than it sounds. Real money. Felt important.
    
40. Quasi-smut publishing. Part-time and freelance.
    
41. Current day...