Forgot Her Basket of Goodies

Sasha Obama Eats Peanut Butter Three Times a Week*

I was such a picky eater when I was young, family history boasts that my then-frustrated mother insisted I make a list of my ten favorite foods (despite one of her standards being "Dry Chicken with Rosemary," her words exactly). Apparently, I could only think of nine, so I added salt to the lineup, and thus a legend was borne. Peanut butter was definitely on that list, and now I'm at a loss, what with the current poisonous peanut butter situation. I've been scraping the bottom of my peanut butter barrel for days now.

I had a peanut butter sandwich (spread very thin, with no jelly or jam), which I made myself, almost every single day of my entire schoolgirl career. I had a friend in kindergarten, though, Lynne Greenbaum, who was even pickier than I; she came to school with a lump of peanut butter—and a spoon!

Shudder-worthy food items for me included any kind of condiment, and particularly mayonnaise, which still makes me cringe. One of my sisters also recoils from it, as does President Obama**, so I'm in extremely good company there. But don't get me started on my brussels sprout trauma.

The List (Approximately)

1. Peanut butter
2. White bread
3. Grandma Piggyback's French Toast (though sometimes was too egg-y, so then I'd only eat the edges. Plus, I liked honey with it, on the side—not atop—and not syrup. I do not have the precise recipe for G.P.F.T., but I can only imagine she'd soak the previous night's challah or rye bread in the eggs waaaay too long. Similarly, those previous nights, there probably would have been a whitefish, nova, and chopped chicken liver spread, but instead, I'd stand on a chair in her kitchen to rescue the lonely peanut butter she kept for me in her super tall Upper West Side cabinets, and put it on a plain—no butter, for God's sake, which my grandma was apt to do—toasted bagel. I was very happy with that, though, much to the chagrin and incredulity of the rest of the table).
   
4. Apple
5. French Fries
   
6. Hot dog
7. Pizza
8. Ice Cream
9. Iceberg lettuce
10. Salt

* http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/02/more-from-presi.html
** http://blog.al.com/living-news/2009/01/party_like_a_president_ideas_f.html

Bullocks

If you ever find yourself teaching juggling to middle schoolers, do not, I repeat, do not use the word "ball," or "balls." As in my own recent foot-in-mouth repartee with an innocent: "Actually, Will, my balls are bigger and heavier than yours."

Have not heard the end of that from D.J. yet.

The Principal's Office

I don't love going to the principal's office at Daughter Judy's school. He's just too darned cute, in a sweet and goofy kind of way, and it's extremely distracting watching his lanky figure lean against, oh, basically anything in that office of his. Plus, I know he has a tattoo under his shirtsleeve, and well, it's just completely inappropriate for me to even think like that. Nevertheless, D.J. is on internet lockdown for a week 'cause several times recently, I found myself face-to-face with that cute married-with-newborn-boy/girl-twins principal guy.

I mean, her continuous and impressive straight-A average notwithstanding, I'm trying to nip in the bud her becoming a...mean girl. Darn! I barely understand what went down at her school, with this girl and that boy, despite a lengthy cell phone conversation with the principal the other night. Locked in my own bathroom, at least I wasn't looking at his lanky figure lean against...

Middle school psyche is very complicated, I guess, but from now on, chez moi, they'll be no more Clique books, US magazine's "Who Wore it Best," or Disney's Zoey 101 (at least Raven had magical powers, though my once preferred Hillary Duff is totally off my list for recently dissing Faye Dunaway's looks. Talk about a mean, not-too-bright girl!).

Tomorrow is day three at baking and pastry arts. Must remember to get up early, bring calculator, embed my name somehow on my baking tools—someone already picked up my new rubber spatula—and try not to be a mean girl myself.

P.S. I sent D.J. off this a.m. with an entire Old-Fashioned Apple Crumb Cake*, recipe courtesy of Hay Day Country Market Cookbook, made especially for the super cool family that takes care of D.J. more times than I can count. They're hosting her almost every Friday night for the duration of my Saturday program. Hollah!

I actually made two of these crazily delicious golden cakes last night, so D.J. and I could enjoy as well, though I have a serious problem with my willpower when one is around; 'twas part of my downfall that night not so long ago when I tried to get something going with one of my exes.

Here's a link to the recipe, which claims to be adapted from the original Hay Day recipe, but it is exactly the same, though cut in half (the original makes two cakes), and specifies what kind of egg and apple to use (I use any kind). Also, I don't use nuts in my topping as D.J. used to be allergic, but it is still amazing. Like the inside of a homemade Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart, if you can remember or imagine that.

Note: Do not think that by adding more butter to the topping, it will be better—obviously I've tried this—because then it's too heavy, and sinks to the bottom of the cake. Best to keep the whole thing nice and light!

Recipe pdf link: www.lexingtonfarmersmarket.org/Recipes/Recipes07/WhatsForDinner/apple%20crumbcake2.pdf

Just Cause

Super Bowl Sunday

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om_yq4L3M_I

Cannot figure out how to actually put the video on here, but it's well worth a trip to G. Carlin's "Baseball Versus Football."

I Was About Ten Minutes Late

My votes for Week 2 are in:

Morning hours, part 1: Scones and Biscuits

Cheese Biscuits: Top prize. Excellent. Aesthetically pleasing. Light and layered, with nice cheddar flavor. An apt complement to a most delicious lunch Chef made us during the morning hours: Pasta with Fresh Tuna and Vegetables in Tomato Cream Sauce (though I don't know she's officially named it that). She's just cooking on the side while her baking students are doing their thing. I'm paired up with Dee, a restaurant lifer, her identity possibly based on Toula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding; she's more precise than I (in a good way), and I'm possibly more...passionate...than she. Chef has dubbed me "Messy Martha," despite me not being blond, Christian, or ex-con material, but together, Dee and I made:

Scones with Fresh Berries Inside: Second place. I think they could have been good, but the dough was too thick, so they looked almost like big white-flour dumplings. Fresh blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries saved these suckers!

On second thought, they were much better fresh baked, and I probably wouldn't have eaten them the next day if they hadn't been filled with whole berries, so I'd tie them for third place with:

Scones with Dried Apricots, Cranberries, and Raisins: Different scone recipe from above. To be fair, I didn't try them until the second day, so to give them the benefit of the doubt, I did as suggested by Chef: I panfried them in a bit of butter, which I think was their saving grace. Daughter Judy didn't respond well, either, thinking them too dry (she ran to our neighborhood Tartine, on West 4th and 11th Streets, for an award-winning croissant), but I liked mine dipped in my hot morning tea. (Earl Grey, with a little milk and half a sugar.)

Morning hours, part 2: Quick Breads

I couldn't judge these on taste, because we took home our respective loaves afterward, unopened, untested. But in terms of visuals:

• Almond-Poppy Seed, hands down, made by Dee.
  
• Both Apple Spice.
  
• 1 Date Nut and 3 Banana Nut—tied for not looking that great, but they probably wouldn't have been my first choice anyway, even if they had looked good.

I made one of the Apple Spice loaves, which looked good, but heavy, and tasted, at least yesterday, okay, but heavy. I might like it better in a day or two, when I have no other baked goods left to choose from.

Lunch hour

Well, Chef's lunch was incredibly spot-on, and now I think it would be nice if someone besides a take-out kitchen would cook for me (and Chef, on occasional Saturdays). Took a break afterward to 1) pay my weekly installment at the office on the floor below, which turned out a bit problematic and time-consuming when after fifteen minutes or so, they only charged me 1/100th of what I was supposed to pay, and 2) wonder where that $20 was, the bill I could have sworn I'd seen in my wallet that morning before I left my house ten minutes behind schedule. Hmmm. I can't say for sure, so I won't, but next week, I'll definitely keep my money in my pocket.

Afternoon hours: Muffins

• First place looks: Double Chocolate
  
• First place taste, consistency, subtlety: Pumpkin

• Second place looks: Carrot Nut (with no nuts)
• Second place taste, consistency: Double Chocolate
  

• Third place looks: Pumpkin
• Third place taste: Carrot Nut, no nuts

• Fourth place overall: Corn

I wasn't even going to try the pumpkin muffins (Dee's and mine)—though well shaped, they weren't particularly inviting—but they were amazing. Smooth and subtle tasting. A definite recipe keeper, and I hope by now Dee has forgiven me for being a bit more...hands-on than she. Will have to figure out how to make them more attractive.

The double chocolate were the most seductive, and Daughter Judy ate two of them immediately, but there was a lot of tunneling going on (too much air in the batter), and upon further inspection, they didn't look well mixed. Made by the seemingly cool new guy, I would try them again myself, using better chips.

Aftermath

Was tired, but forced myself to carry on with my 2009 exercise routine (though have yet to do it today), which is The Tracy Anderson Method Mat Workout DVD (Madonna and Gywneth Paltrow's trainer's DVD, though surely a watered-down version of the A-listers'). Any thoughts I might have had that I could lay down on a "mat" during this workout were immediately replaced by an "Oh, shit," exclamation, and the sorest thighs I've had in years.

I'm committing to this DVD for the duration of the Baking/Pastry Arts Class. Check back with me in thirteen weeks.

P.S. Must get a kitchen scale, and remember to bring a calculator next week for baking mathematics instruction.